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In this second part of a deeply heartfelt conversation, Ashley continues her discussion with dear friend and fellow grieving mom, Kristin Hernandez, as they dive deeper into the story behind Cradled in Hope. With warmth, vulnerability, and unwavering faith, Ashley shares how the book was born out of her ministry work, her personal healing journey following the loss of her daughter, Bridget, and her longing to walk alongside grieving mothers with truth and compassion.

They explore how the book was shaped by years of support group ministry at Bridget’s Cradles, Ashley’s own story of loss, and the refining grief of losing her father during the final stages of editing. Ashley also offers an inside look at the writing and publication process—from weekends spent writing in quiet solitude to the God-ordained partnership with her literary agent and publisher. Through it all, her desire is to point hurting hearts to the comfort of Christ and the eternal hope of Heaven.

This episode is an honest and hope-filled look at the heart, process, and purpose behind Cradled in Hope. Whether you are newly grieving or supporting someone who is, Ashley’s vulnerability and biblical encouragement will remind you that you are not alone—and you are cradled in hope.

In this episode, we discussed:

• How Cradled in Hope originated from years of support group messages and real conversations with grieving moms
• The structure of the book: felt needs as subtitles and biblical truth as chapter titles
• How the book ties into the mission of Bridget’s Cradles and serves as more than a book—it’s a doorway to community and Christ-centered healing
• The free downloadable Cradled in Hope Journal companion guide and how it complements each chapter with Scripture, prompts, and practical reflection
• The vision for churches, hospitals, counselors, and support groups to use the book as a biblical resource for grieving moms
• Ashley’s writing process—including weekend retreats, long writing sessions, and her “rock tumbler” metaphor for editing
• The emotional weight of sharing vulnerable stories, including Ashley’s experience of holding both grief and gratitude during her pregnancy after loss
• How her editor encouraged her to share even the hard-to-admit feelings so other moms could feel safe and understood
• A tender conversation about the eternal family we long for—and how God’s plan is good even when it doesn’t match our expectations
• Kristin’s powerful closing prayer over Ashley, the book, and every grieving listener holding on to hope

This episode will meet you in the midst of sorrow and remind you: you are seen, loved, and never alone. Jesus is with you, holding your broken heart as He holds your baby in Heaven.

Full transcript below.

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MEET OUR GUEST

Kristin Hernandez is the author of Sunlight in December. She is also the host of the Hope Mommies podcast. She is a writer, podcaster, wife, and mother to six children—one in her arms and five with Jesus.

Connect with Kristin:

Facebook /sunlightindecemberblog
Instagram @sunlightindecember
www.sunlightindecember.com

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MEET OUR HOST

Ashley Opliger is the Executive Director of Bridget’s Cradles, a nonprofit organization based in Wichita, Kansas that donates cradles to over 1,500 hospitals in all 50 states and comforts over 30,000 bereaved families a year.

Ashley is married to Matt and they have three children: Bridget (in Heaven), and two sons. She is a follower of Christ who desires to share the hope of Heaven with families grieving the loss of a baby.

Connect with Ashley:

Facebook /ashleyopliger

Instagram @ashleyopliger

Pinterest /ashleyopliger

www.ashleyopliger.com

Follow Bridget’s Cradles:

Facebook /bridgetscradles

Instagram @bridgetscradles

Pinterest /bridgetscradles

www.bridgetscradles.com

Follow Cradled in Hope Podcast:

Facebook /cradledinhope

Instagram @cradledinhope

Hashtags:

#cradledinhope #cradledinhopepodcast

#bridgetscradles

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JOIN OUR CRADLED IN HOPE COMMUNITY FOR GRIEVING MOMS

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Episode 62 P2 | The Story Behind Cradled in Hope: An Interview with Author Ashley Opliger by Kristin Hernandez

Ashley Opliger: [00:00:00] You’re listening to the Cradled in Hope Podcast. I’m your host, Ashley Opliger. I’m a wife, mom, and follower of Christ who founded Bridget’s Cradles, a ministry in memory of my daughter, Bridget, who was stillborn at 24 weeks. Our nonprofit donates knit and crocheted cradles to hospitals in all fifty states to hold babies born into Heaven.

I’m also the author of the book Cradled in Hope, a biblical guide for moms grieving miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. This podcast shares the same name—and the same heart—as the book: to help you find the comfort, compassion, and healing of Jesus in the midst of deep sorrow.

Rooted in the hope of the Gospel, this podcast is a sacred space for your broken heart to land. Here, we are going to trust God’s promise to heal our hearts, restore our joy, and use our grief for good. With faith in Jesus and eyes fixed on Heaven, we do not have to grieve without hope. We believe that Jesus cradles us in hope while He cradles our babies in Heaven. 

Welcome to the Cradled in Hope Podcast.

Ashley Opliger: [00:01:02] Today we’re continuing a very special two-part episode with our dear friend and returning guest, Kristin Hernandez. Kristin has joined us on several episodes in the past, Episodes5, 31, 38, 39 and40, and we’re always so grateful for the wisdom, compassion, and faith she brings to this space.

Kristin is the author of Sunlight in December, and the host of the Hope MommiesPodcast. She’s a gifted writer and speaker, a loving wife and a mom to six precious children, one in her home and five with Jesus. 

I’m also incredibly honored that she endorsed my book, Cradled in Hope. In this second part of our conversation, Kristin is continuing her interview with me about the heart behind Cradled in Hope, why I wrote it, who it’s for, and what I pray grieving moms will receive through its pages.

We’re also sharing more behind-the-scenes stories, including my writing process, the inspiration behind the book cover, and how God met me in the midst of sorrow to bring beauty from brokenness. If you missed Part One, be sure to go back and listen to the episode that released on July 1st to hear the beginning of our conversation.

And don’t forget, starting July 22nd, the day Cradled in Hope officially releases into the world, we’re launching the Cradled in Hope Book Club Podcast series. We’ll walk through the book one chapter at a time, releasing new episodes on the 1st, 15th, and 22nd of each month through the end of the year. We pray these conversations will speak directly to your heart and remind you that even in your grief, you are not alone. Let’s dive into Part Two. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:02:36] How does this book, and I would imagine most of your listeners are probably very familiar with your nonprofit Bridget’s Cradles, but how does it, or how do you hope that it will tie into the mission of your nonprofit Bridget’s Cradles?

Ashley Opliger: [00:02:48] We have monthly support groups that we have been doing since 2018 in person. And then in 2020, we started Hope Online, which is our online support group. We originally started because of the pandemic and needing to have an online option, but really, we realized there’s a national need for this, and we wanted to continue, and so we still do monthly meetings to this day.

But from the beginning, when we started the in-person support groups, I was writing messages, content for the support groups. And so during that first year of doing support groups, I had a little binder of all these typed-up notes, and they were starting to form into what later would be book chapters.

But basically, they were split into themes of: when others have hurt you and you have to deal with people in your life, friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, strangers, saying hurtful comments, and so we’d have a whole support group around that. And I would write a message about it, and we would have discussion questions, and we would talk as a group.

And as we would talk, I would write down notes because it’s like not only was it my ideas coming to the surface and what the Lord was leading me to share from His Word in these support groups, but then it was like I’m getting real time feedback from a group of women who are all sitting in this and they’re sharing their hurt and their feelings and the emotions that they feel like no one else understands. 

And so I’m writing all of this down and trying to speak into that. And so really, the support groups and the messages that I wrote for that became the initial outline of the book.

And then to go back to the table of contents, I realized I didn’t share this part earlier when we were speaking about it, but each chapter, as you notice, has a main chapter title, and then it has a subtitle. And the subtitle starts with “When you …”, as you mentioned, and those are the felt needs.

And so essentially those are the struggles, that’s the emotion, the feeling. But then the chapter title is the hope or the truth. And so I tried to structure it where the title was whatever truth or hope I’m trying to impart, but then the subtitle is, “But this is how I feel and this is the struggle that I’m going through.”

And so it’s going to be that struggle that pulls you in to read it, but then hopefully the hope or the truth that you leave with saying, “Okay, I have this biblical knowledge to change the way I think about what I’m experiencing.” 

So that’s how it started. But then, how it’s going to continue tying in with Bridget’s Cradles is our plan is to use the book as our curriculum or as our guide to lead our in-person and online support groups now that we have structure to it. Because also our team came up with the Cradled in Hope Journal, and it’s a companion guide to the book. 

And it’s going to be a free download that anyone listening to this right now, whenever you buy the book, and even if you don’t buy the book, you can actually just go download it for free. 

But you’ll want to have the book because the journal basically has all of the questions and the action steps and the Scripture that’s shared in each chapter, and then it has some additional journaling prompts and diagrams, and charts that you can fill out just to help you process and write things out. And then it comes with some other resources from our nonprofit. 

And so the way that we’ve explained the book to people is that we feel like what makes this book different, and I think there are a lot of things that make it different, but something that’s very unique about Cradled in Hope is that it’s more than just a book.

And in the beginning of the book, I say, “This is more than a book. It is a door that opens you up into an entire community of women and the entire backing of a nonprofit that wants to walk with you.” And so, of course, we have our podcast, we have our online support groups, we have a Facebook group. We have different resources.

And so we’re wanting this to be a door to say, “Hey, there’s this whole community,” and through that door, if you really think about it, if we’re using the door analogy, because  Bridget’s Cradles partners with Hope Mommies and all of these amazing organizations that we’ve had on our podcast, it’s more like you open up to this room and there’s more doors, and all your friends are in here too. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:07:17] Exactly. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:07:18] All of these, this amazing community that we’ve built, that we’re all here for you, and we’re all on the same team, and we all want to help you walk through this and point you to the everlasting hope of the Gospel. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:07:30] I can see this being such a great tool for Bridget’s Cradles in the support groups you’re already running, because it’s a lot of felt needs that you are seeing on the day-to-day and being able to point them toward this resource and then also using it as a launch point, because there are discussion questions also, and prayer and prompts for application in each chapter as well.

And I could really see this not only benefiting Bridget’s Cradles, but also being used in support groups, or churches, or hospitals. I could really see that being a great resource for others outside of your organization.

Ashley Opliger: [00:08:08] Yes, absolutely. Whenever you market a book, which it’s weird to say that because my heart behind this is not book sales. My heart behind this is to get this into the hands of the moms and the hearts that need it. But whenever you market a book, you have to share who is the primary audience and who is your secondary audience.

And of course, the primary audience for this book is going to be grieving moms and even couples to walk through this together. But the secondary audience would be exactly what you just said, pastors, counselors, support group leaders, other ministries that don’t already have their own curriculum that they’re using.

Anyone that’s wanting to walk a grieving mom or couple through their grieving and healing journey, this would be the resource. I would love for it to be the gold standard resource, not because I think that I’m gold standard, but because I think the Word is the gold standard. And my prayer is that I honored God in a way that everyone that’s reading this is going to be pointed to Him, not to me. 

And so I really want this to be a resource for churches, for counselors, for care ministries, support groups, to have this as a trusted resource that they know, “When I give this book to this mom, I know that she’s being pointed to solid biblical truth. And I know that this book is going to help point her in the direction of healing [with Jesus].” 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:09:34] Yeah. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:09:34] Yeah. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:09:35] I would love to hear about the practical side of your writing process, just what the writing process looked like and the path to publication. 

And so I think just to start looking at this whole daunting task of launching a book into the world, first off, what did that writing process look like? Where did you write? How did you make time? You’re running a nonprofit, you’re a mom to two boys who live at home, so lots going on in your day-to-day. What did that look like for you?

Ashley Opliger: [00:10:02] It was definitely a challenge to find the time. I found that as an author, I am the type of writer who needs big blocks of time.

I can’t just sit down for an hour and work on my book and then go do something else, and then if I have a free hour here, then to work on it, I really needed big blocks of time. And that’s just something I learned about myself as an author. 

I think there’s other writers that do better with having little pockets of time here and there, but I found that even if I have an hour or two, I shouldn’t go work on my book because it’s not going to be my best writing. And so I really had to block off those times. 

And so we did a few different things and I say we, I’m talking about my husband because I feel like he was my teammate-

Kristin Hernandez: [00:10:48] Team effort, mm-hmm.

Ashley Opliger: [00:10:49] … because I could not do this without him. As we got closer to my deadline, he was basically giving me chunks of time on Saturdays, and so he was just hanging out with our boys playing in the backyard. And so he really gave me, sometimes it would be four hours on a Saturday morning, and then we would spend the rest of the day as a family. But as I got closer to the deadline, there were days that he gave me like eight or 10 hours to sit down in my office and write, or sometimes I’d go up to our headquarters and write there.

I also did several writing weekends, which, you would not believe it, but I would literally hole myself up in an Airbnb and write for 35 hours. And that is actually my best writing, and it doesn’t make sense because you would think that being that engulfed in it would be a little overwhelming. But I feel like my writing style is to fully entrench myself into my story and into my reader’s story, and to just sit in it and to just go. 

And so there were two different weekends I went out to a place called Yoder, Kansas. I don’t know if anybody knows where Yoder is, but it’s a Amish community in Kansas. It’s 45 minutes from me, but I just went out to this little barn, and I was out there by myself one weekend.

And then another weekend, my mom came with me, and she just did her own thing and let me put on my headphones and sit there. And I had to listen to instrumental hymns, piano, so I couldn’t write with words playing in the background or anything like that. I don’t know if you’re that way.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:12:25]  I can’t have words either.

Ashley Opliger: [00:12:26] Yeah. So I listened to a lot of instrumental piano hymns, and I had this thing where I had a candle burning, and I went through, I think it was eight candles by the end of the book, I think over 500 hours of writing this book. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:12:40] Wow. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:12:26] Once I started revising the drafts, I stopped counting. And so I’m like, “It’s probably way over that,” but the initial phase was probably over 500 hours and eight candles. 

But it was really special because after that season, [going on] several writing retreats by myself, my husband had two work trips. He had one to Dallas and one to Scottsdale, and he took me on the work trips. And so he was at a conference during the day and I would just write during the day and then we would go on dates in the evening and it was great because I was like, “I’m getting a free writing weekend because his work is already paying for his trip,” and I also got to go on dates with him. 

But yeah, I needed a lot of just big chunks of time to do it and really just commit to sitting in the words and letting the Holy Spirit speak through me. And there were many times that I really felt, “Wow, it’s just flowing. This is not from me. I would not be able to come up with this wording or these ideas.” God was just giving me words. 

And definitely times where it was hard or a little bit of writer’s block, but really I think I faced more of the opposite problem, where I had too many words and I had to try to stay within the bounds of my word count. But thankfully, my publisher let me put in a couple extra thousand, so that was good. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:13:59] That’s great. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:14:00] We hope you’re finding encouragement in this episode so far. We want to take a moment to share some resources our ministry offers to support grieving moms like you.

On our website, bridgetscradles.com, you’ll learn more about our nonprofit and find many hope-filled resources, including free e-books to help you plan a memorial or funeral service for your baby, meaningful ways to honor your baby in your heart and home, and gentle guidance for navigating difficult days like due dates, Heaven Days, and holidays.

We invite you to join our community of grieving moms through our Christ-centered support groups, offered both in-person at our headquarters near Wichita, Kansas, and virtually through Hope Online. These gatherings provide a place to find comfort, connection, and biblical hope alongside other moms who understand your pain.

You can view upcoming dates and sign up on our website. While you’re there, we’d also be honored for you to share your baby’s story with us.

For ongoing support, we welcome you to join our private Cradled in Hope Facebook group—a safe space for grieving moms to find friendship and walk their healing journey together.

To stay connected with us and receive faith-filled encouragement, follow us on Facebook and Instagram at @bridgetscradles, @cradledinhope, and my personal page @ashleyopliger. 

Now, let’s get back to the episode.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:15:17] What did that path to publication look like? How long did it take you to complete the manuscript from idea to publication? Because I know that process can be a long one. Can you just give us a little bit of a behind-the-scenes of that?

Ashley Opliger: [00:15:33] Yeah. Our support group started in 2018, and I was writing all of those messages, but they weren’t in book form. It was more like outlines and ideas and questions and things like that, similar to if a pastor was writing a sermon and had sermon notes and then was preparing something. That was how all of the content was originally in that sort of format. 

And then in 2020, I did a book proposal boot camp and learned what it took to put together a book proposal. And so that was a 10-week process that I was walking through with Lysa TerKeurst and their COMPEL writing group. 

And I had a writing coach and a group of women that were working on their book proposals, and we were giving each other feedback. And that was really helpful for me because I had no idea or how you even would take an idea into a book. 

And then from there, after I got the book proposal finalized, then it was 2021, and we started the podcast. And the book actually came before the podcast with the name Cradled in Hope.

And then the podcast came, and through the podcast, some doors were opened, and I was introduced to my literary agent. And having a literary agent, for those that don’t know, it’s like the door to publishers. They vet authors, and they vet the book proposals, and they choose to take you on if they think that they can get you a book deal.

And so I was so blessed to sign with Blythe Daniel, and she’s been so amazing and has become such a dear sister in Christ to me and a dear friend. And she took a chance on a Kansas girl, first-time author, and I really appreciated that because it was like she wasn’t looking at me for my platform or my Instagram numbers. She believed in the message that I had on my heart, and she believed in my character, and that’s what’s important to me. 

And so she then pitched my book, I think it was in 2022, because in the middle of all that I had our third child, our second son, and I had to put a pause on some of this because I had a newborn and he ended up having a lot of GI issues and hospitalizations and things.

And so I had to halt things for a little bit. 

But then once she pitched it to publishers, one of the first offers that I had, I ended up having two offers for Cradled in Hope, but the one that I was just so enamored with was Bethany House and Jennifer Dukes Lee, who’s my editor. And I just could not believe, because my literary agent literally told me, “Usually Bethany House doesn’t pick up first-time authors.” You know? 

And so I thought it was a far shot, but I was like, “Go ahead and pitch me anyway.” And same thing, Jennifer Dukes Lee has become such a dear friend. And I’ve had the honor to meet both of them in person, Blythe several times, and spend time with them and get to know them on the phone, and all of those things.

But I just cannot tell you how blessed I am that I am under the wing of Bethany House. They are the real deal. They are solid sisters and brothers in Christ that care about, of course, they’re a business, they’re trying to sell books, but their heart is the Gospel and sharing Christian testimonies and Christian hope.

And to have their belief in me meant so much, and I’ve been so honored to be walking the journey with them, and for Jennifer teaching me so much as I finalized my manuscript. 

And now I’m in book launch phase and learning how to share about the book. So it’s been a wonderful journey, and I’m really blessed that even though it took five years from the beginning of the book proposal to it being published, because there’s a two-year process, pitching it and finishing your manuscript, edits. 

There are so many edits. I turned it in like four different times. And so there are a lot of different people that look at it and read it, and it is in the best interest of the reader. 

I have this analogy, it’s kind of nerdy, but I don’t know if you’ve ever done a rock tumbler. Have you ever done a rock tumbler? 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:19:46] No, I haven’t. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:19:46] Okay.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:19:47] Tell us about it.

Ashley Opliger: [00:19:49] As a kid, I would have this rock tumbler in my garage. And what you do is you put regular rocks in there, and then you pour a grit in there, and then you pour water, and then it tumbles for a week, and then you take it out. You pour out the contents except for the rocks, and then you add a different grit and water, and then it goes and it does it. But each grit is a little bit finer.

So if you think about sandpaper, you have a really rough grit, and that’s going to take off the really rough edges. And then the final grit is super fine, so it’s polishing the stone, the rock, into a beautiful gem, basically. And so I likened the editing process to grits of rock tumbling. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:20:33] That’s a great, that’s a great analogy. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:20:35] And I had seven women read my book before I even turned it in to my publisher. And you don’t have to do that, but I really wanted five grieving moms and then two others to read it before I ever turned it in. And that was really helpful because I took their feedback and made my own revisions before I even turned it in.

And then I had multiple editors along the way. And I do feel like each grit, if I can be so nerdy to say that, polished it into its final state.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:21:04] Yeah. I love that analogy. That’s so good. And it’s cool to see God’s timing through it all because I know you’d mentioned it was this long process and all in His timing of when it is coming out. And what a joy too, to see Him open that door with Bethany House, and what a gift that’s been to work with them.

Looking at the practical side, I see that there was a lot that went into it. But I’m also curious for you, just on this personal journey of grief, and you had a lot going on, just what that looked like for you as you were writing, because this is a very vulnerable thing to write. 

I would love to know if there were any parts of your story that felt really difficult to share and what that felt like. As you’re going through these logistical steps, you’re not just meeting deadlines, you’re not just turning back edits. You’re also baring your heart in a really vulnerable way. What was that like? Were there parts that were hard to open up about? 

Ashley Opliger: [00:22:02] Yeah. I think one of the early things that I wanted to commit myself to as an author was that I wanted to be a vulnerable, authentic author. And not to say that there’s people who aren’t authentic authors, but I guess what I’m saying is … 

Let’s back up to support groups.

As a leader in a support group, every time that I open up in person or online as well, and I share deep, hard feelings and emotions that are going on in me and that I’ve walked through, immediately the entire tone and environment of our support group changes.

And other people can say, “Me too. I’ve walked through that.” And then they’re going to go and share some sort of hard or dark thought that they’ve had or something that’s going on. 

And it’s actually those things that need to be brought to the surface to bring those into the light and to stop stuffing those really hard emotions down. And likewise, the other women that lead the support groups with me, whenever they start sharing hard parts of their stories, it’s like it’s just a permission slip for everybody else to say, “Okay, I can be real here. I don’t have to say the right things. I don’t have to just give surface-level answers. I can really bare my heart here.”

And if you’re going to heal, you’re going to have to grieve real and raw. And so that’s how we’ve always chosen to run our support groups is to just be very real and authentic. And so that’s the kind of author that I wanted to be, and that meant that I had to share some really vulnerable and hard things.

And there were several things in the book that were hard. I think the hardest one for me was in the chapter called Holding Both, and that chapter is about holding both joy and sorrow. 

In that chapter, I share about how we were expecting our third child. And so we had experienced the loss of Bridget in 2014, and then we had our oldest son in 2017, and then we were expecting again, and I had just really felt like it was going to be a girl.

And if I’m being honest, I really was hoping that it was a girl because the grief of losing Bridget, I had so longed and desired to have a daughter and to raise a daughter. And I also wanted a son and to have boys, but it was that both. I desired to have a daughter and a son. 

And so when we found out that our son Brenner was a boy, I responded with sadness and disappointment, and then I shamed myself for feeling that way because I thought, “Well, what kind of mother am I to feel these feelings? Why is it that I’m feeling disappointed over gender? I should just be happy that I’m having a baby and a healthy baby, and someone who’s lost a baby before shouldn’t be choosy over what gender their baby is.”

And yet at the same time, I was excited to have another boy because I loved having our older son. I was also excited that he would get to have a brother and experience that.

 

And so there were all these conflicting emotions like, “Oh, I know I’m going to love this little boy, and I know that this boy was chosen for our family, but I’m just really grieving Bridget.”

And what I realized was I wasn’t done grieving Bridget, and so I ended up going down into our basement, I had a tub of Bridget’s clothes that we had bought for her, and I took all of those clothes out and I ended up in our closet, just on the floor crying with all these girl clothes around me. 

And it was at that point that I realized I probably needed to go back to counseling because I was like, “I don’t think I’ve really fully grieved Bridget. Even though I’m six years in and I’m leading support groups and all of these things, I still very much am grieving her and longing for a daughter. And what do I do with that desire and feeling?”

And so I went back to my counselor, who I hadn’t seen for the past couple years, and I was telling her that I was expecting again, and I’m so excited that I’m having a little boy, but I also am grieving Bridget, and the desire to have a girl. 

And she stopped me pretty quickly and said, “You know, it’s not a ‘but’. It’s an ‘and’. You can be grateful and grieving. You can feel joy and sorrow. You can be excited about this little boy and be hopeful for the soul that God gave you. But yet also, not even, but … See it’s so easy to say that.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:26:58] Yeah. It’s ingrained in how we talk, but yes, and. And. Two emotions at once.

Ashley Opliger: [00:27:02] And to still very much miss Bridget and to very much feel sad about not having a daughter in our home on earth. because I know I have a daughter in Heaven. I know I’m going to see her again. But it’s … See? 

And it’s different. I don’t know how to word that, but anyway, she really introduced this idea of holding both, that it’s okay to have an ‘and’ conjunction there. And so I have a whole chapter about that. 

And there’s a lot of holding both situations. There’s holding both, some moms might have lost a twin, and so they’re holding both because they’re experiencing the joy of a living birth and also grieving the loss of their twin sibling. And then as the living sibling is being raised and growing up they have this constant reminder of there was also supposed to be their twin sister or brother. And what does that look like to hold both of those feelings at the same time?

Or could be grief over the baby that’s in Heaven and gratitude for the living children that you have. There’s so many examples of holding both. But I felt very vulnerable in sharing that story because I had so much shame and judgment for myself. I was supercritical over how I responded to his initial gender, that I was like, “Surely people are going to judge me for feeling this way, and so I don’t know if I want to put this in a book.”

But my editor actually said, “This is really good for your reader because it just gives them permission to be like, ‘It’s okay to have feelings, and it feels like they’re conflicting feelings, but it’s just coexisting feelings.’”

Kristin Hernandez: [00:28:51] They’re both, yeah. Yeah, that’s so relatable. I think a lot of us have been in that place. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:28:55] Yeah. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:28:55] Yeah.

Ashley Opliger: [00:28:57] Yeah, and I was able to reflect on it because now he’s four years old. And even as soon as he was born and throughout the pregnancy, I had total acceptance and love for him, and there were both of those feelings. 

And so now that I really know him, I just think, “Oh my goodness, I would not want any other child. Brenner is joy personified. He is exactly the soul that God wanted for our family, and I don’t doubt God’s plan for my family and what He gave us. 

But sometimes we just have to surrender our own will and our own desires to say, “Your plan’s better.”

It’s not how, if I would’ve said, “Hey, I want to have this many kids and these genders,” that’s not what I ended up getting. But the family that God’s given me is good, and there’s a reason for the family that I have. And I have an eternal family and a Kingdom family, which I write about in the book.

And just like you, Kristin, Ethan, and your other babies, they’re all in Heaven. And on Earth, it looks like you’re a family of three and you have your son on earth and people looking at your Christmas cards or you at church with your family, it looks like there’s three. But your eternal family is much bigger. And you’re going to have all these kids around you in Heaven, and that’s going to be forever.

And so trying to flip that and say, “Yes, I have this desire, but God is fulfilling this desire eternally for me. It’s not a lost desire, it will be fulfilled. I just have to wait.”

Kristin Hernandez: [00:30:28] Well, Ashley, I just love your vulnerability through this book. I sense that, and I could see how that story you shared, how you maybe would feel some shame walking into that, because I think a lot of us have been in that place where we are feeling two emotions, and we’re almost trying to talk ourselves out of it. 

Or maybe if we’re honest with ourselves, maybe we have been the one judging someone else’s emotion of, “Well, if I had that, I would never feel this,” and to be willing to be vulnerable about that time when you felt two emotions at the same time.

And I know that is one of many examples of your vulnerability throughout this book, and I just really appreciate your heart and you being willing to share just such deep parts of your story. And I truly believe that so many women will resonate with that story and also so many others that you’ve shared, so thank you for just being so truthful about your experience.

And like I said, it brought me back to some of those moments myself, and I think that that is really helpful for readers to feel less alone, and I really appreciate that. I think that’s where the friend component comes in. When I said that, it just feels like this friend holding your hand and walking with you.

While you continually point us toward the truth, I think this vulnerability really creates this feeling of hand in hand, of, “I am with you, I’m hand in hand next to you.” And that’s something that I really have appreciated about the book, and I just can’t wait for it to come out. 

I would love to know from you, this mom who is reading the book, the mom who maybe is just pre-ordering the book today, or the mom who now has it in her hands, what would you want to say to her if you had the chance to sit across from her face to face?

Ashley Opliger: [00:32:07] It’s a hard question because there are so many things I’d like to say. And in a sense, the book is all of the things that I would want to say if someone came up to our headquarters and we just got to sit down and talk. The book would be everything that I’d want to say.

But if we did not have that amount of time, I would just want her to know that she is seen, that she is loved, that she is held. 

And to come back to something we talked about earlier, when you were mentioning the chapter where I talked about me seeing the vision of the crucifixion. The week before Bridget was born, I was hospitalized, and I was passing clots and going through a lot of bleeding, and I was in a lot of pain myself. And I was imagining Jesus suffering on the cross, and it just gave me a different perspective of His suffering and what He went through. 

And I had a similar situation happen to me recently on Good Friday of this year. And even though I wrote this book and I know these theological things to be true, there’s something that happens when you go through fresh grief. It’s like a boomerang.

You just go back to your flesh of like, “Why me, God? Why is this happening? I feel abandoned.” And so in a lot of ways, the book that I wrote ended up being something that I needed to read again after the loss of my dad. Even though the book is not about losing a parent, the timeless truth in the book ministered to my heart.

And I had a moment after my dad died where I told God that I felt like He was cruel. Like, “How could You let my dad suffer and die like this? That’s just cruel.” And to come back to what you said about in my book, how I have the chart of how our feelings are not facts, and I was feeling abandoned, and I was feeling like God is cruel, but He is anything but cruel.

And I sat in a church in Denver, I was out there for a one-week grief intensive recently, and I found a church, and I went to their Good Friday service, and they had this Last Supper table set up. 

And they had just a very reverent service with no drums, which was to my disappointment because I love the drums. I’m learning how to play drums, but no drums. It was like violins and beautiful music. 

And as they were worshiping, I had tears streaming down my face, and I was again imagining Jesus suffering on the cross for me, to give me the gift of eternal life. And I’m so unworthy of that, and that gift to me for eternal life and to my daughter and the hope that I’m going to get to see my dad, He’s going to resurrect my dad one day, I just was overwhelmed with His love, His mercy, and His goodness. 

And as I was crying and imagining what He went through and how He felt forsaken in that moment, I was thinking, “He is anything but cruel. How could I say that of Him? He endured cruelness. He endured torture.”

And that was this moment for me where I realized my feelings are not the truth. And everything I wrote in the book, I needed to be reminded of that. And we have to just keep coming back to the truth of He is a good God. Just because something bad happened to us doesn’t make Him a bad God.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:35:45] So good. Mm-hmm.

Ashley Opliger: [00:35:44] But I would say even in my own personal journey right now, I have to just keep coming back to the truth of who God is, that He loves me, that He sees me, that He’s for me, that He is not against me, that He is not a cruel God that’s trying to punish me with pain. 

And all the moms listening, it’s so easy to believe like, “Well, what did I do wrong? Why does God not love me?” Right? “Have I fallen out of His favor for some reason? Why would He give me a baby in my womb and then take it away?” 

Those are valid questions. Likewise, I have questions about Bridget, and I have likewise questions about my dad, but I think what I just have to keep coming back to who God is.

He is love. He is mercy. He is goodness. And I have to saturate myself in that truth because otherwise my own mind and my feelings are going to be in complete turmoil and will twist who God is, and then I’ll start seeing Him in a way that He’s actually not. 

And so to come back to my title, I would just say, you are loved, you are cradled in hope, your baby is cradled. You will see them again. There is an amazing hope that we have, and we have to cling to that faith with all of our might because it is the only true thing that we have.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:37:05] Praise God for that. 

Ashley Opliger: [00:37:06] Yeah. 

Kristin Hernandez: [00:37:06] Well, Ashley, I’m so grateful we could do this today. Thank you for trusting me with your podcast and the opportunity to ask you about this book.

I am so very excited for its release and just to see how the Lord continues to use it as I see Him already using it, just so grateful to get to have a front seat to that. So I would love to, if I may, I’d love to pray over you and over this book and over your listeners as we wrap up our time together.

Ashley Opliger: [00:37:33] Absolutely. I would love that. Thank you.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:37:37] 

Heavenly Father, I thank You so much, Lord, for Your goodness and Your sovereignty. I thank You, Lord, that You are near to us in grief, that You are not a God that is far off, that You cradle us when we grieve, Lord, and that You cradle those who we have lost, that You cradle those who have gone to Heaven before us, Lord, that You have given us an eternal hope through the saving work of Jesus Christ. 

And I pray that You would use this book, Lord, to minister to so many hurting hearts, God, that You would speak through Ashley’s words, and not Ashley’s words specifically, God, but through the hope of Scripture that she has woven through her book, God, that You would speak through Your Word to bring hope and encouragement and comfort to all who will pick it up God, and that Your will would be done through this book. 

And I just pray for every listener that they would experience your comfort, that they would cling to the truth of Your goodness and to the hope that we have in You.

And we also just pray for Ashley as she is getting ready for this book’s launch, that You would continue to bring her encouragement, that You would use her in every door that You open for her through this. 

And we just thank You, God, for the gifts that You have given us along the way for the open doors and the opportunities, and even for the ways that You have used some of the deepest sorrows for Your good and for Your glory, and to point many others to Jesus, and we love You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Ashley Opliger: [00:39:06] Amen. Thank you so much, Kristin.

Kristin Hernandez: [00:39:08] Oh, it’s been such a joy.

Ashley Opliger: [00:39:12] Thank you for listening to the Cradled in Hope Podcast. We pray that you found hope and healing in today’s episode. 

Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss new episodes when they release each month. You can also find this episode’s show notes and a full transcript on our website at bridgetscradles.com/podcast. 

Be sure to sign up for our email list on our website, so that we can keep you updated on upcoming podcast episodes, support groups, and other hope-filled resources.

You can also purchase my book, Cradled in Hope, wherever books are sold. It’s a biblical guide for grieving moms to find hope after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Written from the depths of my own heartbreak, I share vulnerably about losing my daughter, Bridget, and how God met me in my grief. Through Scripture, theology, and soul-deep reflections, Cradled in Hope offers biblical wisdom, practical guidance, and the eternal hope of seeing your baby again in Heaven through faith in Jesus.

To accompany the book, I’ve also created a companion guide called the Cradled in Hope Guided Journal to help you process your grief and reflect on your healing journey with Jesus in a personal and deeper way. You can download it for free on my author website atAshleyOpliger.com/Journal.

Are you looking for ways to use your grief for good? Visit our website to learn how you can volunteer or donate to Bridget’s Cradles in memory of a baby in Heaven. 

Do you want a quick way to make an eternal impact? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts to help more grieving moms find the same comfort you’ve received here.

Thank you so much for listening and sharing. Until next time, we will be praying for you. And remember, as Jesus cradles our babies in Heaven, He cradles us in hope. Though we grieve, we do not grieve without hope. 

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